“Sometimes, we fight so we don’t have to feel. Sometimes, we trade jeers so we don’t have to trade tears…and that’s a problem. Because the solutions to our most pressing concerns don’t lie within the heated exchange of our ideas; they lie at the bottom of our grief. If we don’t get better at grieving, we can’t get better at loving and living.”
In Episode 35 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about how attention to our mortality can radically reshape our reality, making us less reactive and more tender, bringing us peace, and expanding our sense of belonging to include all people…
Here are just a few of the takeaways from this week’s episode:
- Before we share our secrets with trusted others, we must first admit them to ourselves.
- In places of true belonging, our people can help us to see the secrets we’ve been keeping, even from ourselves. If we let them.
- Grieving our losses ahead of time gives us a chance to redeem them in advance by living a more intentional and loving life.
- One natural result of contemplating our mortality is compassion.
- Only by going through sorrow about our mortality do we exit our denial, anger, and fear and enter into peace. Sorrow is the doorway.
- When we surrender to grief it becomes peace; when we resist it, it becomes depression.
- The surest way to develop confidence in your courage is to grieve.
- Our mortality is our most fundamental common ground, and awareness of it straightens out our priorities and expands our sense of belonging.
You can listen below or on iTunes!
In his debut novel, Kelly weaves a page-turning, plot-twisting tale that explores the spiritual depths of identity and relationships, amidst themes of healing, grace, faith, forgiveness, and freedom.
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Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a psychologist, author, consultant, and speaker who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life: worthiness, belonging, and purpose. His blog writings have been featured in Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The 5 Love Languages, and the TODAY Show. Kelly is the author of Loveable and True Companions.