Week 17: The One Illusion We Cannot Afford to Believe In [Loveable 018]

“Experiencing our worthiness does not lead us to believe we are self-sufficient; it helps us to be at peace with the knowledge that we are insufficient. We are interconnected. Interdependent. As big as a limitless soul, but as small and as fragile as a human body.”

In Episode 18 of The Loveable Podcast, we focus on the truest fruit of embracing our worthiness: embracing the worthiness of everyone else as well, and remembering that we are all ultimately connected.

loveable podcast episode 18

This week’s episode explores the following topics:

  • How to relinquish our attachment to mental narratives that keep us miserable.
  • Why allowing ourselves to feel sadness and pain paradoxically produces energy, creativity, and joy.
  • The importance of asking for a mentor or guide if venturing into our emotions becomes overwhelming.
  • How embracing our own worthiness helps us to raise kids who have a resilient sense of worthiness.
  • Why life is about connection, not competition.
  • A challenge to identify the people in your life who have been the voice of grace to you.
  • A practice to cultivate awareness of, and gratitude for, your connection to others.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “A Kid Named Lonely.”

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Week 16: The Fear (and Joy) of Removing the Masks We Wear [Loveable 017]

“Grace is what happens when someone or Someone sees through our many masks, recognizing and celebrating the innocent little one that still resides beneath all of our disguises…Grace is the assurance that everyone is of equal value and equally worthy, so all you have to do to be loved is show up.”

In Episode 17 of The Loveable Podcast, we focus on naming the masks we wear, and daring to take one of them off.

loveable podcast episode 17

This week’s episode explores the following topics:

  • How the counter-intuitive choice to be uncertain can reduce our stress, decrease our conflict, and increase our self-esteem.
  • The importance of building margin into our schedules—room for imperfections and mess to happen—so you can take the time to learn from mess, pain, and disappointment.
  • How practicing vulnerability is similar to learning how to drive.
  • Why self-acceptance cannot be a group effort and the harm we do to our relationships when we try to make it so.
  • How to have grace for yourself when you “relapse” into looking for your worthiness in your relationships, rather than in your self.
  • The dangers of successfully wearing a facade or persona.
  • Why Halloween is sometimes more grace-full than Christmas.
  • What Jesus shows us in the last week of his life about how to find belonging.
  • A practice for identifying our masks and removing them.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The One Illusion We Cannot Afford to Believe In.”

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Week 15: The Mess Will Set You Free! [Loveable 016]

“Ann Lamott once wrote, ‘The grace of age is radical self-acceptance.’ Life is messy and we human creatures are messy. Life isn’t about eliminating the mess; it’s about embracing the mess.”

In Episode 16 of The Loveable Podcast, we focus on accepting our messy selves by first accepting the chaos of everyday living. It’s fun and it’s freeing. Come and embrace the mess with us!

loveable podcast episode 16

This week’s episode addresses the following topics:

  • How to de-escalate conflict with vulnerability, and how to be wise about where we invest our risk and vulnerability.
  • Why humor reconnects us with our true self.
  • How vulnerability about your own mess invites connection, reduces loneliness, and thus heals fear and shame.
  • The importance of not comparing your healing journey to anyone else’s.
  • A practice for embracing your belovedness in the ordinary moments of everyday life.
  • How changes in mommy blogging reflect our decreased exposure in social media to the normal mess of life.
  • A redefinition of the concept of mess.
  • Permission to feel messy without needing to explain it or fix it.
  • More than ten practices for embracing mess with joy and fun.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The Fear (and Joy) of Removing the Masks We Wear.”

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Week 14: The Life-Changing Difference Between Shame and Guilt [Loveable 015]

“Guilt is shame redeemed by grace. Shame tells us we are lousy; guilt tells us we did something lousy. Shame whispers, “Your mistakes define you,” but guilt proclaims, “We are defined by redemption, not by transgression.”

In Episode 15 of The Loveable Podcast, we are focusing on clarifying the difference between shame and guilt, because it is the difference between a redemptive life and a hidden life…  

the loveable podcast episode 15

This week’s episode addresses the following topics:

  • Why maintaining a false self requires so much energy.
  • How life experiences such as aging, suffering, and loving all pave the way for letting go of the false self.
  • Why parents “worry from their wounds” and how our own pain can be redeemed in the way we parent our kids.
  • A discussion about how to balance your true and false self in the workplace.
  • Several practical examples of the difference between shame and guilt.
  • Why embracing our mistakes from a place of worthiness helps us move on, leave regret behind, heal relationships, act with dignity, and live redemptively.
  • A challenging practice to help you begin leaving your mistakes behind.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The Mess Will Set You Free!”

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Week 13: Embracing Your Valuable Flaws [Loveable 014]

“Perfection is overrated. Competition makes us common. The game is over. You are here to be unique. You are here to be you. Enjoy the freedom of that.”

In Episode 14 of The Loveable Podcast, we focus on not just accepting, but embracing, our quirks and flaw and idiosyncracies and wounds and weirdness. When shame tells us that our uniqueness makes us stand out and makes us odd, the voice of grace responds, “Yeah, and you’re beautiful and beloved.”  

the loveable podcast episode 14

This week’s episode addresses the following topics:

  • Why grace embraces us not in spite of who we are but because of who we are.
  • A heartwarming story that illustrates how grace “returns us to ourselves.”
  • The role that embracing our imperfections plays in receiving grace.
  • How grace can transform any shameful thought with one six-word phrase.
  • How hearing the voice of grace restores our sense of playfulness.
  • Why hearing the voice of grace is a prerequisite for finding true belonging.
  • How failing can help us to embrace our worthiness.
  • Why discussing grace in community makes us more aware of the voice of grace within us.
  • An exercise to help us overcome the self-rejection of our most unique and valuable parts.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The Life-Changing Difference Between Shame and Guilt.”

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Week 12: The Voice of Grace [Loveable 013]

“Grace isn’t just acceptance of the status quo. Grace contains the status quo—all of our struggle and pain and mess—and embraces us and values us anyway. Grace demands that nothing be changed for love and connection to happen, and that kind of love has power.” 

In Episode 13 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about how to listen for the voice of grace within us and, perhaps even more importantly, how to recognize it once we’ve heard it…

loveable podcast episode 13

This week’s episode addresses the following topics:

  • Why trying to be happier doesn’t work, but trying to be human-er ultimately makes us enduringly happy.
  • One key difference between the concepts of sin and shame.
  • Why you might need a media detox and what media is doing to deprive you of one.
  • The value of identifying a handful of practices from the podcast and practicing them regularly.
  • Why discovering our worthiness isn’t about trying harder but, rather, about listening more closely.
  • How grace can transform us without trying to change anything about us and, indeed, because it doesn’t try to change anything about us.
  • What it looks like to listen for the voice of grace inside of us and why hearing it there is essential for the health of our relationships.
  • How to avoid turning the concept of grace into an excuse for abusive behavior.
  • Six hallmarks of the grace of voice, so you can recognize it when you have heard it.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Embracing Your Valuable Flaws.”

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Week 11: Choosing Which Voices to Listen to Around You [Loveable 012]

“Maybe growing up and growing healthy is as simple as discerning which voices to allow in, and learning how to keep the rest of the voices out.”

In last week’s episode, we began to focus on the voice of shame all of us hear on the inside of us. Now, in this twelfth episode of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about what to do when we hear that voice on the outside of us, too, coming from the people around us.

loveable podcast episode 12

This week’s episode includes:

  • Several personal examples of small and ordinary but powerful ways to redeem the painful and frustrating parts of our story.
  • A conversation about how to handle shame messages when they come from family and friends, especially during the holiday season.
  • How to set assertive boundaries from a sense of worthiness, rather than aggressive boundaries from a sense of defensiveness.
  • What it looks like to digest criticism through the filter of our own worthiness.
  • Why it is important to limit the shame you expose yourself to from others while you work to heal the shame already inside of you.
  • Why shame keeps us small and how our lives become bolder when we quit listening to it.
  • Three visualization exercises that will help you begin to develop healthy emotional boundaries.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The Voice of Grace.”

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Week 10: Why Shame Is the Beginning of Your Story (Not the End of It) [Loveable 011]

“There is a place inside of you where a better voice is telling a better story about you. Let the next chapter of your story be about listening for that voice.” In Episode 11 of The Loveable Podcast, we define shame, describe how it can be recognized in our experience, and explore how the concept of story can become an essential tool for transformation…

loveable podcast episode 11

This week’s episode includes:

  • A conversation about how to recognize the signs that you are growing and healing.
  • A parenting discussion about how we accidentally show kids they are not worthy of help, and the importance of humility in parenting and dialogue with our kids.
  • How to be peaceful, even when you’re angry, scared, or sad.
  • Some helpful ideas for questioning the social narratives that keep us anxious and ashamed.
  • The key difference between being “broken” versus “blocked.”
  • Ways to recognize both subtle and intense signs that you are feeling shame.
  • The importance of sharing your experience of shame with others.
  • An exercise you can do that will help you envision a life more free from shame.
  • A discussion that cautions us against believing we need to live an “epic” story to be good enough.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Choosing Which Voices to Listen to Around You.”

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Week 9: What to Do When Your Heart Feels Like a Jungle [Loveable 010]

“Embracing your worthiness is up to you and you alone—we cannot truly receive love until we have embraced that we are worthy of love. However, we all need someone to walk with us as we do so. We don’t depend upon this person for our sense of worth, but we can lean upon them when the going gets tough.”

In Episode 10 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about what to do when the healing journey gets a little too messy to walk alone…

the loveable podcast episode 10

This week’s episode includes:

  • A conversation about how to learn from your pain, attend to your anger, and short-circuit your panic attacks.
  • A discussion about how emotional pain expresses itself in the body, and how practices such as yoga can help us to relearn our relationship to it.
  • Another way to approach prayer, especially when your praying feels unhelpful, or even counterproductive.
  • An encouragement about the cyclical nature of healing and growth.
  • Why asking for help is an expression of a sense of worthiness.
  • How to find a good therapist when you don’t know where else to look.
  • A helpful (pun intended) list of reasons we resist asking for help, and even resist receiving the help we’ve already asked for.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Why Shame Is the Beginning of Your Story (Not the End of It).”

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Week 8: The Small Gate and Narrow Road Back to Your True Self [Loveable 009]

Emotional healing and spiritual growth are not about eliminating our pain; they are about approaching our pain. Rather than moving away from our pain, we learn how to move toward it, enduring it, learning from it, transforming it, and eventually moving through it, to where we find our true self.

In Episode 9 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about pain and playfulness and everything in between…

the loveable podcast episode 9

This week’s episode includes:

  • A case study of how to observe our thought stream, rather than getting swept away in it, and an example of how this can expand our experience of the present moment.
  • The connection between shame, playfulness, and our true self and how to use playfulness to disarm our shame.
  • How embracing our worthiness can quickly lead to becoming less lonely.
  • A better, healthier way to relate to “the future.”
  • The difference between reacting and responding, and how to cultivate wiser responses.
  • Suggestions for increasing the frequency and regularity with which you become mindful of your thought stream and practice observing it.
  • Reflections on how faith can fruitfully evolve over the course of a lifetime.
  • A discussion about why moving toward our pain rather than away from it is healing.
  • How attending to our pain can improve our civic discourse.
  • A practice for using your body to practice approaching your emotional pain.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “What to Do When Your Heart Feels Like a Jungle.”

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