Week 9: What to Do When Your Heart Feels Like a Jungle [Loveable 010]

“Embracing your worthiness is up to you and you alone—we cannot truly receive love until we have embraced that we are worthy of love. However, we all need someone to walk with us as we do so. We don’t depend upon this person for our sense of worth, but we can lean upon them when the going gets tough.”

In Episode 10 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about what to do when the healing journey gets a little too messy to walk alone…

the loveable podcast episode 10

This week’s episode includes:

  • A conversation about how to learn from your pain, attend to your anger, and short-circuit your panic attacks.
  • A discussion about how emotional pain expresses itself in the body, and how practices such as yoga can help us to relearn our relationship to it.
  • Another way to approach prayer, especially when your praying feels unhelpful, or even counterproductive.
  • An encouragement about the cyclical nature of healing and growth.
  • Why asking for help is an expression of a sense of worthiness.
  • How to find a good therapist when you don’t know where else to look.
  • A helpful (pun intended) list of reasons we resist asking for help, and even resist receiving the help we’ve already asked for.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Why Shame Is the Beginning of Your Story (Not the End of It).”

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Week 8: The Small Gate and Narrow Road Back to Your True Self [Loveable 009]

Emotional healing and spiritual growth are not about eliminating our pain; they are about approaching our pain. Rather than moving away from our pain, we learn how to move toward it, enduring it, learning from it, transforming it, and eventually moving through it, to where we find our true self.

In Episode 9 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about pain and playfulness and everything in between…

the loveable podcast episode 9

This week’s episode includes:

  • A case study of how to observe our thought stream, rather than getting swept away in it, and an example of how this can expand our experience of the present moment.
  • The connection between shame, playfulness, and our true self and how to use playfulness to disarm our shame.
  • How embracing our worthiness can quickly lead to becoming less lonely.
  • A better, healthier way to relate to “the future.”
  • The difference between reacting and responding, and how to cultivate wiser responses.
  • Suggestions for increasing the frequency and regularity with which you become mindful of your thought stream and practice observing it.
  • Reflections on how faith can fruitfully evolve over the course of a lifetime.
  • A discussion about why moving toward our pain rather than away from it is healing.
  • How attending to our pain can improve our civic discourse.
  • A practice for using your body to practice approaching your emotional pain.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “What to Do When Your Heart Feels Like a Jungle.”

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Week 7: You Are Not Your Thoughts (You Are the Observer of Your Thoughts) [Loveable 008]

“This is the promise of your pain: to relate to it properly, you must learn how to observe it, and as you learn to observe it, you begin, for the first time, to fully inhabit the soul within you that is doing the observing. This week, begin to inhabit your soul once again. Welcome home.”

In Episode 8 of The Loveable Podcast, we begin to talk about how to move through our darkness. And into the light…

loveable podcast episode 8

This week’s episode includes:

  • A summary of the first six weeks of the podcast and a context for what is ahead.
  • A reminder and encouragement about the cyclical nature of growth and becoming, as described in Loveable.
  • A helpful way to decide whether or not a job is right for you, especially if you are on the fence about it.
  • An encouraging reminder that your circles of belonging will likely shrink at first, as you begin to embrace your worthiness. 
  • Identification of a number of thoughts and phrases that can serve as “red flags” that you are experiencing, and perhaps even being guided by, shame.
  • Why a healthy mind and heart begin with a willingness to experience the full range of human experiences and emotions.
  • Why it’s impossible to stop your thoughts and what to do about that.
  • How the practice of observing your thoughts can make you a more light-hearted person.
  • How to embrace the rhythm of observing your thoughts, feeling a sense of peace as a result, and then falling back into old habits of identifying with our thoughts.
  • What it means to feel at home in our own soul.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “The Small Gate and Narrow Road Back to Your True Self.”

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Week 6: Unbecoming Who You Are Not [Loveable 007]

“You already are what you are becoming. You don’t build what you are; you chip away at what you are not. We are, each of us, like blocks of wood, and becoming our true self is the gradual process of carving away the excess and steadily becoming more and more the shape of what we already are.”

In Episode 7 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about how to do so, and it begins with answering three very specific questions…

loveable podcast episode 7

This week’s episode includes:

  • How to respond to the “gap” between who you want to be and who you are (hint: it has to do with grace).
  • How to handle relationships with people who are either unable or unwilling to connect with you or accept you for who you are.
  • What to do when you’re not quite ready to engage with one of the exercises from this podcast.
  • A concrete example of one way I’ve embraced myself by unbecoming who I am not.
  • How to know who you belong to (hint: it has to do with grace again).
  • A discussion about how to set healthy boundaries.
  • Permission for this process to take time.
  • All sorts of discussion and resources for navigating relationships between introverts and extroverts.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “You Aren’t Your Thoughts (You Are the Observer of Your Thoughts).”

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Week 5: Letting Go of the Solution to All of Your Problems [Loveable 006]

What is the only thing worse than not getting what you want? Getting what you want. Because after you get what you want, you will probably realize it wasn’t the hoped-for solution to all of your problems. And then what? In Episode 6 of The Loveable Podcast, we talk about our search for a solution that doesn’t exist, letting it go, and then what…

loveable podcast episode 6

This week’s episode includes:

  • A review of last week’s practice, especially the importance of adopting a word or phrase to be mindful of and to anchor us on our journey of becoming.
  • Why we search in our relationships and accomplishments for a solution to our shame that does not exist.
  • A totally new angle from which to view the creation story in the book of Genesis.
  • How to challenge the sense of duty and obligation that might be keeping you from changing old habits and patterns of searching.
  • How friends, family, and other places of belonging can hold us accountable for not searching for our worthiness in external activities.
  • The value of retelling your life story through the lens of your search for worthiness.
  • What will take the place of your search for worthiness, once you have called it off.
  • How to deal with regret about all the time you’ve spent searching.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Unbecoming Who We Are Not.”

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Week 4: Self-Acceptance Is the Foundation of All Self-Improvement [Loveable 005]

What if all our efforts to improve ourselves are actually keeping us stuck, because, sometimes, self-help is just cleverly disguised self-rejection? And what if, sometimes, self-acceptance is the most helpful, most transformative thing of all? Welcome to Episode 5 of The Loveable Podcast, in which we read and discuss Week 4 of Loveable’s companion book,  which is available nowhere else…

loveable podcast episode 5

This week’s episodes includes:

  • Me admitting that I woke up feeling insecure and anxious about recording the podcast episode.
  • A fruitful conversation about what to do when your shame decides to visit you once again.
  • The important distinction between our inward journey and our outward journeys.
  • Why our culture of inspiration is really a cleverly disguised culture of self-rejection.
  • The key difference between being inspired to change yourself versus being inspired to accept yourself.
  • How self-acceptance ultimately leads to wiser and more peaceful change.
  • The reason the first three weeks came before this week’s topic and practice.
  • A challenge to quit consuming self-help for at least one week.
  • A recommendation about what to replace self-help with once you’ve taken a break from it.
  • How to help thoughts about your worthiness descend from your head to your heart.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Letting Go of the Solution to All of Your Problems.”

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Week 3: Replacing Suffering with Presence [Loveable 004]

What if pain is an inevitable part of being alive, but suffering is not? And what if you could begin reducing your suffering right now, with a few simple practices? Join us for Episode 4 of The Loveable Podcast, as we read and discuss Week 3 of Loveable’s companion book, which is available nowhere else…

loveable podcast

This week’s episodes includes:

  • The important distinction between our inward journey and our outward journeys.
  • Why it is so important to experience the contrast between mindfulness and clutteredness.
  • What to do when a performance mindset interferes with mindfulness practices.
  • A new and more useful definition of suffering.
  • An exploration of one of the insidious reasons people are reading less and less.
  • Resources for creating a to-do list that, paradoxically, creates space for you to just be.
  • The reason whatever problems you resist in the present moment become more of a problem.
  • Practices for removing digital clutter from your life.
  • Ideas for removing obligational clutter from your life.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Self-Acceptance is the Foundation of All Self-Improvement.”

Friends, this conversation will plant good seeds in you that will continue to bear fruit going forward, in the form of increased presence and peace. Check it out. Listen to the episode below, or on iTunes.

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Loveable is available in paperback, digital, and audio and can be purchased wherever books are sold, so you can also purchase it at your favorite bookseller.

Week 2: Rest Is Revolutionary [Loveable 003]

Welcome to Episode 3 of The Loveable Podcast! Join us, as we read and discuss Week 2 of Loveable’s companion book (which is available nowhere else). It was another great conversation, this time about why most rest isn’t very restful at all…

loveable podcast episode 3

This week’s episodes includes:

  • A conversation about last week’s mindful breathing practice.
  • Resources for honing your breathing practice and making it a habit.
  • A redefinition of rest as an inner condition, rather than a set of outer circumstances.
  • An exploration of the reasons we don’t take advantage of opportunities to rest.
  • Practices for resting in the quiet spaces of life.
  • Practices for cultivating a restful mind even amidst the busyness of life.
  • A crazy idea about how to dramatically increase the odds of restfulness in your home.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Replacing Suffering with Presence.”

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Week 1: Doing Is the Enemy of Becoming [Loveable 002]

This is Episode 2 of The Loveable Podcast, and the first week of our on-line book club! We got together on Facebook Live, read Week 1 of Loveable’s companion book (which is available nowhere else), and had a great discussion about it. You can hear it all in this week’s episode…

the loveable podcast episode 2

In this week’s episode, you’ll find out:

  • The secret to discovering your truest, worthiest, most loveable self.
  • The reason we forget who we are.
  • The reason we fill our lives with so much doing and activity.
  • A practice for creating more space and stillness in your mind and your life.
  • The challenges inherent in that practice.
  • How to give yourself grace as you seek to establish new and healthy habits in your life.

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An Introduction to The Loveable Podcast [Loveable 001]

Welcome to Episode 1 of The Loveable Podcast. In this introductory episode, I give you a behind-the-scenes glimpse at my story, share details about the podcast, narrate the introduction to Loveable’s companion book (which is available nowhere else), and tell you how you can participate in future episodes…

The Loveable Podcast

The two deepest desires of every human heart are to love simply and live fully. So why do our relationships remain so complicated, and why do our lives sometimes ring so hollow? Because neither love nor life can be truly embraced until you, and only you, have embraced your truest, worthiest self.

In my book, Loveable, I explore how embracing our worthiness is the foundation upon which we can find true belonging and live a purposeful life. Loveable has been described as “a handbook for how to be human.” Now, in this podcast, I want to give you the tools for living fully into who you are and why you are here.

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