Book
True Companions
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companionship
When we quit sabotaging closeness in our relationships by demanding unconditional love, we discover something much greater—the deeply satisfying, transformational love that is companionship.
Build Your Belonging
We need true companions, now more than ever. True Companions illustrates how the three ordinary human experiences which plague most relationships can be transformed into the fertile ground for enduring, lifelong companionship.
In the pages of this book, you will learn:
The one experience that causes the most conflict in relationships but could become the source of the best connection
The one goal that must be mutually agreed upon in relationships, if you hope to trade in your protection for connection
The one perspective that will allow you to keep your priorities straight, your relationships first, and your companionship thriving
“Friends keep one another company. True companions keep each other tethered—to the ground of reality, to the ground of our being. Are you in a season of discovering that what used to work for (both of) you is now working against (both of) you? Been there, done that. It’s why I’m so glad to commend True Companions to you—it comes with some really great strings attached.”
Ian Morgan Cron
Bestselling author of The Road Back to You
"I know this book will touch many lives. Kelly Flanagan has harvested the rich rewards of true companionship from the everyday struggles of doing real life together—a gift to every couple and every kind of companion everywhere."
Bob Goff
Author of three NYT Bestsellers: Love Does, Everybody Always and Dream Big
"In True Companions, Kelly Flanagan grapples with the joys and risks of genuine connection. With sincerity, wisdom, and deft storytelling, Flanagan dares readers to become more human. In an increasingly inhumane world, his is a dare worth taking."
Katherine Willis Pershey
Author of Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity
"Though we often do whatever it takes to avoid feelings of loneliness, in these pages Dr. Kelly Flanagan invites readers to do something else—make friends with our loneliness, attend to it, and even welcome loneliness as a gift. Flanagan is a guide for the isolated soul, showing us that our agonizing longings for deep companionship are actually graces—signposts pointing us toward deeper connection, love, and holiness. And along the way, we discover this gentlest of miracles: we are, none of us, truly alone."
Aubrey Sampson
Church planter and author of The Louder Song: Listening for Hope in the Midst of Lament
"What a brave, beautiful, and bountiful book that sings with quiet wisdom on the power of loneliness and the sanctity of companionship. . . . Flanagan looks directly into the center of what it means to be human and helps us hold our gaze there, too, so we may see ourselves and each other more clearly with a searing and soaring grace."
Carolyn Weber
Professor and author of Sex and the City of God
"He had me at the table of contents. I went there first to decide if I was going to read the book. Weary of reading marriage books that seemed too lofty or talked about having a date night, I long ago moved on to books of poetry and novels, which have actually helped my marriage. But when I felt a tug at my heart just by reading the descriptions of the chapters in True Companions, I knew this book would be different. If you want a wise, honest, and true friend to take a walk with you, Kelly is that friend. And on that walk, he will open your heart to new truths and new questions, and gently lead you down an unexpected path toward change in yourself and your relationship with the one you love. Please take this journey with him. Kelly is a trustworthy guide."
Al Andrews
Founder and Executive Director of Porter’s Call
“Loneliness is part of marriage. Rather than avoid or ignore that reality, Flanagan provides a much needed resource on the necessary journey of creating space for loneliness in the context of relationship. With unflinching honesty and clinical insight, Flanagan takes a fresh look at how to sit with the discomfort of unmet expectations in marriage. He shares about his own marriage in a way that impacts both intellectually and emotionally. Flanagan wisely suggests that our most intimate relationships benefit from learning to embrace curiosity rather than certainty, and that a deeper intimacy is found in sharing loneliness, rather than expecting our partner to eliminate it.”
Drs. Jeff and Kim Eckert
Psychologists and co-founders of Roots Counseling Center

About The Book
Learn to prioritize your companions now the way you will one day wish you had.
In these pages, psychologist Kelly Flanagan shows that we each have within ourselves, exactly the way we are, what we need to cultivate the life-long relationships we are longing for. Whether you are focused on your marriage, your parenting, your friendships, or another important relationship, here you will learn how growing in self-knowledge leads the way to growing in your love for God and others. Discover how you can put your loneliness to work for you in your relationships, rather than against you. Learn how your psychological and emotional defenses can help you to connect more vulnerably rather than protect so defensively. Immerse yourself in the one perspective that assures you will prioritize your companions now the way you will one day wish you had.
More than a marriage book, this is a companionship book.
Anyone—from single young adults to elderly married couples, from the divorced to the widowed, from siblings to friends—will resonate with the wisdom it uncovers about what it means to be human and to be true companions.
Study Guide
Groups, couples, and individuals can use the companion study guide to gather for five sessions about how to show up in your most important relationships.
About The Author
Who is Kelly?
Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a clinical psychologist, author, consultant, and speaker who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life. He is the founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. His blog writings about those three essentials—worthiness, belonging, and purpose—have been read by millions and featured in Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, and The 5 Love Languages. In 2014, he and his daughter appeared on the TODAY Show together. In 2017, Kelly published his first book, Loveable, which debuted as the #1 New Release in Interpersonal Relations on Amazon. In 2021, his second book, True Companions, debuted on Amazon as a #1 New Release in several categories related to friendship, marriage, and ethics. He lives with his wife and their three children—Aidan, 17; Quinn, 13; and Caitlin, 11—in a small town outside of Chicago.