Week 20: What to Do with Your Walls [Loveable 021]

“Walls are everywhere in our world…We build them so big they are the only things we create that can be seen from space. It’s like we’re advertising to the universe, ‘Walls matter on this big, spinning rock!’ But perhaps the biggest walls, the most important walls, are the ones that cannot be seen at all…the walls we erect in our minds, build around our hearts, and place firmly between ourselves and other people.”  

In Episode 21 of The Loveable Podcast, we discuss the necessity of heart-walls, but also the essentiality of using them wisely, so they lead to love and belonging, rather than disconnection and loneliness.

This week’s episode answers the following questions:

  • What do heart-walls look like? What do healthy walls look like?
  • How can I be intentional about monitoring how and when I’m protecting with my heart walls?
  • Why when I act strong and needless and wantless, do I end up even more lonely than before?
  • Does the risk and vulnerability of cultivating true belonging ever go away?
  • How can I increase my comfort with vulnerability and decrease the chances that I will keep myself hidden and protected?
  • How do we discern when it is healthy versus self-sabotaging to protect ourselves with our heart-walls?
  • What should you do in marriage if spouses have different levels of comfort with vulnerability?
  • How can I engage with the little kid inside of me who is still in charge of my walls?
  • What can I do this week to take one small step toward healthier walls and productive vulnerability?

You can listen below or on iTunes!

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In his debut novel, Kelly weaves a page-turning, plot-twisting tale that explores the spiritual depths of identity and relationships, amidst themes of healing, grace, faith, forgiveness, and freedom.

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About Kelly

Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a psychologist, author, consultant, and speaker who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life: worthiness, belonging, and purpose. His blog writings have been featured in Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The 5 Love Languages, and the TODAY Show. Kelly is the author of Loveable and True Companions.