“Places of belonging are not meant to be places where our loneliness is taken away. They are meant to be places where we reveal our loneliness to one another…Once you have made your loneliness available to one of your people, you will no longer need to eradicate it. You will be able to touch it without fear and despair. You may feel hopeless to fix it, but you will be filled with the hope that comes from being joined in it.”
In Episode 19 of The Loveable Podcast, we begin the months of loving by talking about loneliness and how to transform our relationship to it, so all of our relationships can be transformed by it.
This week’s episode explores the following topics:
- How the inward journey of embracing our worthiness lays the foundation for the outward journey toward true belonging.
- Why cultivating belonging always entails risk, fear, and vulnerability.
- How normalizing our loneliness by sharing it helps to diminish it without having to eliminate it.
- Why circles of true belonging must shrink before they deepen.
- The idea that circles of true belonging are organized around a shared sense of worthiness rather than shared interests.
- The reason it is so important to begin relationships from your true self, rather than projecting a persona.
- Why people may respond in both good and bad ways when we begin revealing our true self.
- A practice for disrupting conflict in marriage and relationships in general triggered by disputes around loneliness.
- Why it is important to be aware that our loneliness has been with us forever and did not originate in our current relationship.
- A teaser about the next episode entitled, “From Limping Lonely to Loving Together.”
You can listen below or on iTunes!
In his debut novel, Kelly weaves a page-turning, plot-twisting tale that explores the spiritual depths of identity and relationships, amidst themes of healing, grace, faith, forgiveness, and freedom.
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Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a psychologist, author, consultant, and speaker who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life: worthiness, belonging, and purpose. His blog writings have been featured in Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The 5 Love Languages, and the TODAY Show. Kelly is the author of Loveable and True Companions.