Praise for The Marriage Manifesto (from Amazon)
“I’ve spent several hundred dollars over the years buying books that would fall under self help but this has to be the best buy of all.” ~ Candace
“…while the advice Dr. Flanagan gives can truly change the way we look at marriages, the most powerful thing he does is inspire us to live out our relationships in a way that transforms the world around us, making marriage a vehicle for revolution. Read this book. Now.” ~ Luke
“I have rarely recommended a new book so specifically and frequently as I have this one. It has become a standard assignment to many of the pre-married and married couples who come to see me for relationship help.” ~ Tim
“I encourage everyone to read this book…it will give you plenty of new ways to look at your marriage.” ~ Jennifer
“I’m relishing the prospect of creating my own mini-uprising of unconditional love in my corner of the world.” ~ Megz
“This book left me feeling hopeful and excited…I highly recommend it.” ~ Kim
What is The Marriage Manifesto?
From the moment of birth, we are wired for relationship and connection. And for most of us, the search for authentic companionship culminates in marriage. But the reality rarely matches the promise. Approximately half of marriages end in divorce. And for those who remain married, the daily task of love can be challenging at best and excruciating at worst.
The Marriage Manifesto reveals why our best efforts in marriage so often fail:
Have you ever tried to wash the odor of chlorine from your skin after swimming in a pool? It’s almost impossible to do, isn’t it? When we swim in chlorinated waters, the ingredients are soaked into our fibers and only time and distance can rid us of them.
We swim through our lives in a global culture chlorinated by consumerism—the worldview in which everything can be commodified, or assigned a value based upon its usefulness to us. In our world, we are encouraged to ignore the intrinsic value of all things and to assign value to everything based upon what it will do for us.
And this worldview can saturate our marriages, as well, without us even realizing it. If we expect our marriages to meet our every need, when the “product” doesn’t deliver, we will fight to “customize” our spouses and ultimately trade them in for a “better model.”
Unfortunately, most approaches to marriage explore its complexities from within the consumer mindset. But if we hope to truly redeem our marriages, we must overthrow everything we have been encouraged to believe about what marriage represents. Our marriages must become a rebellion: a site of anarchy in a world dominated by a focus on self.
We must turn our world upside down.
The Marriage Manifesto is not a self-help book with a list of solutions or three easy steps to a satisfied marriage. It is a call to rebellion. It is the anti-self-help book, challenging us to turn our consumer world on its head and to make marriage the birthplace of a new way of living.
In The Marriage Manifesto, we will explore how sacrifice, commitment, unity, vulnerability, companionship, wonder, and gratitude are not simply attractive aspirations, but the ingredients of revolution. Are you ready to participate in an insurrection?
Who is the Author?
Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist, with a Ph.D. from Penn State University. He began his study of marriage as an undergraduate at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He went on to study marriage in graduate school at Penn State University. His Master’s thesis focused on the ways couples use humor to de-escalate marital conflict. His dissertation explored the ways that core emotional needs influence the creation and resolution of marital conflict.
Kelly’s approach to marriage has been shaped and honed by more than a decade of clinical work with couples from a wide range of cultures. And his writing about marriage has been influenced in the last year by the wise and challenging comments and questions of the followers of his blog, UnTangled.
The Marriage Manifesto is approximately 12,000 words, or 60 traditional paperback pages. Approximately two-thirds of the book is a compilation of my blog posts about marriage, which have been revised, expanded, and integrated based upon reader feedback. The remaining third of the book is exclusive content available nowhere else.
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