Week 28: Learning How to Take a Compliment [Loveable 029]

“Once upon a time, before our wounds and our world made us forget, we knew the good things about us were true. We believed them so thoroughly it didn’t hurt to hear them spoken to us.”

In Episode 29 of The Loveable Podcast, we focus on the art of receiving compliments. You see, for most of us, the problem is not that we are given no affirmation; the problem is that we have difficulty truly receiving the affirmations we are given. They roll off us, like water off a duck’s back. Here, we talk about how to absorb them, take them in, and allow them to remind us of our worthiness…

loveable podcast episode 29

Here are just a few of the takeaways from this week’s episode:

  • Loneliness cannot be eliminated, but it can be shared, and thus dissipated.
  • Certainty is a method for staving off feelings of loneliness, but it leaves us feeling more lonely than ever.
  • In our circles of belonging, we can trust compliments are sincere, because they’ve been preceded by sincere challenges.
  • Oftentimes, compliments challenge our perfectionism—we don’t believe we should receive them until our performance is perfect—but true compliments are not about our performance, they are about our person.
  • When someone affirms us, they are not telling us who we always are, they are telling us who we truly are.
  • Sometimes what is being said about us is truer than what is being said within us.
  • You can’t force belonging, you can only invite it, and every affirmation is an invitation.

You can listen below or on iTunes!

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Loveable is available in paperback, digital, and audio and can be purchased wherever books are sold, so you can also purchase it at your favorite bookseller.

Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

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