Week 20: What to Do with Your Walls [Loveable 021]

“Walls are everywhere in our world…We build them so big they are the only things we create that can be seen from space. It’s like we’re advertising to the universe, ‘Walls matter on this big, spinning rock!’ But perhaps the biggest walls, the most important walls, are the ones that cannot be seen at all…the walls we erect in our minds, build around our hearts, and place firmly between ourselves and other people.”  

In Episode 21 of The Loveable Podcast, we discuss the necessity of heart-walls, but also the essentiality of using them wisely, so they lead to love and belonging, rather than disconnection and loneliness. 

loveable podcast episode 21

This week’s episode answers the following questions:

  • What do heart-walls look like? What do healthy walls look like?
  • How can I be intentional about monitoring how and when I’m protecting with my heart walls?
  • Why when I act strong and needless and wantless, do I end up even more lonely than before?
  • Does the risk and vulnerability of cultivating true belonging ever go away?
  • How can I increase my comfort with vulnerability and decrease the chances that I will keep myself hidden and protected?
  • How do we discern when it is healthy versus self-sabotaging to protect ourselves with our heart-walls?
  • What should you do in marriage if spouses have different levels of comfort with vulnerability?
  • How can I engage with the little kid inside of me who is still in charge of my walls?
  • What can I do this week to take one small step toward healthier walls and productive vulnerability?

You can listen below or on iTunes!

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Loveable is available in paperback, digital, and audio and can be purchased wherever books are sold, so you can also purchase it at your favorite bookseller.

Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.