Week 4: Self-Acceptance Is the Foundation of All Self-Improvement [Loveable 005]

What if all our efforts to improve ourselves are actually keeping us stuck, because, sometimes, self-help is just cleverly disguised self-rejection? And what if, sometimes, self-acceptance is the most helpful, most transformative thing of all? Welcome to Episode 5 of The Loveable Podcast, in which we read and discuss Week 4 of Loveable’s companion book,  which is available nowhere else…

loveable podcast episode 5

This week’s episodes includes:

  • Me admitting that I woke up feeling insecure and anxious about recording the podcast episode.
  • A fruitful conversation about what to do when your shame decides to visit you once again.
  • The important distinction between our inward journey and our outward journeys.
  • Why our culture of inspiration is really a cleverly disguised culture of self-rejection.
  • The key difference between being inspired to change yourself versus being inspired to accept yourself.
  • How self-acceptance ultimately leads to wiser and more peaceful change.
  • The reason the first three weeks came before this week’s topic and practice.
  • A challenge to quit consuming self-help for at least one week.
  • A recommendation about what to replace self-help with once you’ve taken a break from it.
  • How to help thoughts about your worthiness descend from your head to your heart.
  • A teaser about the next episode entitled, “Letting Go of the Solution to All of Your Problems.”

I began this conversation with anxiety and ended it feeling very peaceful. I think you will feel more peaceful after it, too, and I hope you will feel a new, better kind of inspiration. You can listen to the episode below, or on iTunes.

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Loveable is available in paperback, digital, and audio and can be purchased wherever books are sold, so you can also purchase it at your favorite bookseller.

Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Deb Franke

    I missed joining this discussion last week due to an appointment, but am so glad I can visit and listen here on the podcast, of all subjects, this is one I need to let sink in the most. I have been a self-help junkie most of my adult life, thinking that I constantly needed to be fixed. I picked up your book in July, 2017 and after a few chapters, the light bulb finally went off. The ego I had built wasn’t who I had wanted to be, it was what helped me get through some tough times, but no longer seemed to fit. There was a shift I couldn’t explain, but your book did that for me, No more fixing, just being. Sifting through what I like about myself, noticing some things I’d like to change – allowing that to happen naturally, lovingly letting go of what no longer serves me. You are correct when you say that allowing what is sometimes is the quickest way to get to where you want to go. Giving up old habits, old strategies to avoid coping with what is (self help books) is a challenge, but I’m excited to be replacing the void with positive affirmations, meditation, observing and just enjoying life as it comes. You don’t always have to have a plan. it’s nice to be that leaf that floats downstream sometimes :). And, I’m only half way through your book! I am excited to be joining you (and the other participants) on this Loveable book, companion book and podcast journey, it’s changed my life, thank you!

    • Deb, the wisdom born from your experience is bearing fruit for me, the participants in the discussion, and everyone listening to the podcast. We’ll take you whenever we can get you! 😊 (Also, you express yourself very well in writing; thanks for this!)