Week 1: Doing Is the Enemy of Becoming [Loveable 002]

This is Episode 2 of The Loveable Podcast, and the first week of our on-line book club! We got together on Facebook Live, read Week 1 of Loveable’s companion book (which is available nowhere else), and had a great discussion about it. You can hear it all in this week’s episode…

the loveable podcast episode 2

In this week’s episode, you’ll find out:

  • The secret to discovering your truest, worthiest, most loveable self.
  • The reason we forget who we are.
  • The reason we fill our lives with so much doing and activity.
  • A practice for creating more space and stillness in your mind and your life.
  • The challenges inherent in that practice.
  • How to give yourself grace as you seek to establish new and healthy habits in your life.

Friends, already this is the most helpful book club I’ve ever been a part of. Now, you can join it too, by listening to the episode below or on iTunes.

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Loveable is available in paperback, digital, and audio and can be purchased wherever books are sold, so you can also purchase it at your favorite bookseller.

Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Karen

    Thank you for creating and hosting the companion weekly study to “Loveable”. Your words have guided and comforted me. I am thankful I can join this year long study. I am re-reading “Loveable” along with this study. (I am a Street Team member!) I wanted to share with you how meaningful the message your shared on page 43 of “Loveable” – “growing up is like walking up a steep mountain” has been for me. Describing our life’s journey as taking a slow, circular path around a mountain, gradually ascending towards the top as we walk in this circular pattern many times, encountering the same view yet seeing it from a higher elevation, a higher understanding allowed me to stop feeling critical of myself. I related to the comment you shared from a lady who reread her journals from the past couple of years and saw that she was still struggling with the same issues, feeling like she wasn’t making progress. I felt the same way until I looked again after re-reading this passage about the circular path we take up the mountain and realized how different my view is from the higher elevation I have reached through my practice of self-study. In other words, the same people and the same physical setting exists for me, but my relationships with these people is sutling changing, and I am exploring new opportunities within my physical setting.

    • Hi Karen! First of all, thank you again for being on the Street Team! I’m so glad the image of the circular climb was a game changer for you. There’s a lot of grace in it, isn’t there? I’m so grateful for the wise people around me who share those kinds of ideas with me!

  • Karen

    I am not sure this is the place for this question/discussion, but since reading your book “Loveable” supported my need for clarification on this matter, I will post my question. I was raised christian and you mention that you too were raised in the christian faith. My understanding from the teachings of my church is that I was born a sinner and while Jesus died for our sins, I must worship and call upon God through prayer to remain righteous. God is outside of me, there to guide and protect me. In the literature I have been studying in my self-study practice, I understand that God created me and that the very essence of my soul is that the Divine – God – lives within me. On page 52-54 in “Loveable” you speak about how your childhood faith died slowly. I also found your words on page 42 to poetically describe this difference: “Sometimes, we sense this big God-finger pointing at us, and we tend to assume it’s accusing us of something, or disappointed in us, or telling us we have to do something bigger and better. But that perception is a projection of our shame and insecurity and confusion. The finger of God is more like that of the gentle music instructor. God is simply smiling, telling us it’s our turn, and waiting patiently for us to play the one note that only we can play.” I now find myself struggling to reconcile the christian teaching I have been raised to believe and the new understanding I am learning about – revealing the “God” – the essences of me – that resides within me. This new understanding has awaken me and allowed me to find my own worthiness. Finding my worthiness had lead me to find belonging among people where I do not feel like standing behind a protected wall. (Of course, you understand, this is all in “a work in progress” state.) My purpose is slowly being revealed to me. The best is that I can patiently wait for my purpose to be revealed because I am enjoying the journey to it. I am wondering if you or any of your followers now have a difficult time worshipping? I find a lot of comfort being in church and my faith in God has seen me through many hard times. I feel as though I am betraying something when I seek to feel and listen to God inside of me. Can you offer any guidance?

    • It is a very big and important topic to discuss, Karen. I will not do it justice by simply pointing out that everything in creation grows and develops and changes and matures, so why wouldn’t our faith, as well? I know for many years I felt like I would get in trouble if the faith of my youth changed at all, but, ironically, as I’ve been given permission to evolve in my faith, it has grown stronger. So, yes, big question, important topic, good conversation, and one I’d encourage you to continue with those close to you who you feel safe talking about it with!

  • Doreen Matheny

    What (Who is singing?) is that song that is playing prior to podcast?

    • Hi Doreen, I mention at the conclusion of each episode that that is Ellie Holcomb, singing “Wonderfully Made,” from her album, RED SEA ROAD. She licensed it to me for the podcast and I’m so grateful, it’s a beautiful song!