Most of us seek healing and transformation by reinventing ourselves, over and over again. But in the end, we always become something new by uninventing ourselves. We find a new self by embracing our original self. We find a fuller identity by relinquishing all of our smaller identities…
If panic could light up a dark room, my bedroom would have been glowing.
The black hour before dawn surrounded me, but my insides were lit up with a bright white fear. I had set my alarm for 5am, but my terror had sent me an earlier wakeup call.
In five hours, my family and I would get on a plane bound for New York, where my daughter and I would appear the following morning on the TODAY Show. Where we would tell a world full of women, “You are beautiful. On the inside.”
But I didn’t feel beautiful on the inside. I felt terrified. As my family slumbered, I laid in bed and thought, “If this anxiety gets worse as the show approaches, I’ll be incoherent on national television.”
Why was I so scared? Because I didn’t feel good enough. Because I felt like I had about thirty hours to reinvent myself for a national audience. Because I had forgotten why I named my blog, UnTangled.
This is the beginning of a guest post I wrote for Disney’s Babble.com. To read the rest of the story behind the blog name, UnTangled, and how it helped me find some peace before going on television, click here to read the rest of the post.
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