The Only Guaranteed Cure for the Fear of Public Embarrassment

When we quit admitting we’re wrong, we’ve quit growing up. If we’re afraid of being caught in the act of our own immaturity, we will forever be afraid to grow… 

grace

Photo Credit: Esther17 via Compfight cc

I got caught red-handed.

By a bunch of observant readers right in the middle of a viral blog post—a letter I wrote to my daughter about the real source of her beauty.

Near the beginning of the letter, I wrote, “When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man.”

You start to realize. Start.

Vigilant readers asked, “But what about all the women you knew before your daughter? What about your wife?”

I read the comments to my wife, secretly hoping for a little reassurance. Instead, she raised her eyebrows. And her strong eyes—the fierce eyes I fell in love with—asked their own simple question, “Well?”

My daughter comes by her passion honestly.

So, I had to sit with how to respond to such an accusation. I had to sift through all the layers of self-protection and defensiveness to settle into this response:

Good catch.

I have to respond that way, because the truth is, if we’re afraid of being caught in the act of our own immaturity, we will forever be afraid to grow.

The Threat of Public Embarrassment

We have created a culture of perfection and protection—admitting we’ve been wrong can ruin us in a myriad of ways. If a leader admits he’s wrong, his numbers plummet and his electorate votes him out. If a doctor makes a mistake, a beautiful vocation may be in jeopardy of ruin. If a waiter makes a mistake, they are trained to never admit it, for fear of a lawsuit. Even hot coffee is subject to litigation.

We have banned mistakes from the public square.

But the problem is, when we quit admitting we are wrong, we have quit growing. Growing up isn’t about growing perfect—it’s about growing out of our fear of imperfection. It’s about embracing that we all make mistakes—we’re all immature, we’re all a work in progress, we’re all on a journey of our own becoming.

When honesty about our own immaturity is banned from the public square, we are left with three options: insist on our own personal perfection, hide our mistakes and cover up our imperfections, or confess our mistakes and immaturity privately, confidentially.

Admittedly, as a psychologist, I’m the beneficiary of this culture. People come to me to confess they are human. Because there are very few places in the world they’re allowed to do so.

The Grace of a Little One

Several days after I read the critique of my letter, I was taking my daughter to school. For weeks, on the way to school, we’ve been playing the Frozen soundtrack—over and over and over. And we play a game in which I try to time our arrival at school to coincide exactly with the end of a song. When we arrive at school as the song ends, she declares from the back seat, “Perfect timing!”

I’m not saying I’ve run red lights to time it perfectly, but I’m also not denying it.

Dads will do almost anything to hear proclamations of perfection from their little girl.

On this day, though, I pulled into the parking lot and we weren’t even close to the end of the song. I looked in the rearview mirror at my daughter and I sighed, “Bad timing.”

She looked at me quizzically, broke into a radiant grin, and said, “Don’t worry, Daddy, we get to do it again tomorrow!”

We get to do it again tomorrow.

The grace of a little one is the best kind of grace, isn’t it?

The Freedom of Delight

What is grace?

Grace is the presence that knows you’re a work in progress and is simply delighting in your becoming. And its delight is what gives us the space and strength to enter into our own humanity—all of our immaturity and messiness—to claim our mistakes, and to confess them without fear. Grace is the quiet voice within, always whispering, “I’m quite fond of you, even in your messy becoming.”

Grace can come to us in any way and through anyone.

Grace is a raised eyebrow and an implied question—“Well?”—and a welcoming embrace anyway. And on a cold winter morning, grace came to me through my little one’s declaration, “We get to do it again tomorrow!”

Not, “You’ll get it right tomorrow.”

Not even, “You’ll do better next time.”

Rather, “We get to do it again tomorrow. Together. And that’s all that matters.”

All of us are still just growing up. Even if you’re a shrink. Even if you’re a dad who wrote a really popular letter.

But we’re all swimming in grace, and we all have a chance to do it again tomorrow.

Question: What is one way someone has shown you grace? How did it free you up to be human? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ll be leaning into grace on Thursday, February 27th, as my daughter and I are scheduled to be on the TODAY Show on NBC, as part of a week dedicated to body image and acceptance. We are excited about our adventure and looking forward to making a lot of mistakes along the way!

I continue to be committed to sending only blog posts to your email inbox. So, in order to communicate better about what’s happening around the blog, I’ve created a “News” page on the blog—like a bulletin board for developments and news—and you can visit it by clicking here.

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Next Post: “Are You Beautiful on the Outside?”

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Disclaimer: My writings represent a combination of my own personal opinions and my professional experiences, but they do not reflect professional advice. Interaction with me via the blog does not constitute a professional therapeutic relationship. For professional and customized advice, you should seek the services of a counselor who can dedicate the hours necessary to become more intimately familiar with your specific situation. I do not assume liability for any portion or content of material on the blog and accept no liability for damage or injury resulting from your decision to interact with the website.

Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Lisa Bartelt

    Ah! That’s so great! I’ll be sure to tune in. What a trip! I saw people sharing that post from all different circles. Well done.

    The “messy becoming.” Right on. Also saw a post on A Deeper Story by Zach Hunt about the three words we’re not allowed to say: I was wrong. So much power in saying that. Even when you might not be wrong.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Lisa, thanks for the recommendation, I’ll check out Zach’s post.

  • Nancy

    Dr
    Flanagan thank you. This is so refreshing and timely. “Growing
    up isn’t about growing perfect—it’s
    about growing out of our fear of imperfection. It’s about embracing that we all make mistakes—we’re all immature,
    we’re all a work in progress, we’re all on a journey of our own becoming”.

    I have recently been
    learning about the developmental stages and the development of the human brain
    in my course work and have struggle with what was missing in my developmental
    stages due to parental skills that were lacking which created years of pain.

    This article as helped me tremendously in realizing the pressure we
    encounter to be “perfect” versus being human and “becoming”
    puts things in perspective.

    I can embrace who I am,
    who I am becoming, my mistakes while continuing to grow and mature on my
    journey. In giving my parents the benefit of the doubt that they were human
    releases the bitterness and the pain I have carried for years because I lived
    in a very dysfunctional home with vital parenting skills missing.

    Thank you Creator for words of grace that sets us free to embrace our
    journey to becoming!

    • drkellyflanagan

      Nancy, you hit on something so important. Many people think therapy is about blaming parents. But a healthy therapy is about embracing their humanity, which means all the hurt they may have caused along the way, but also all the grace we can give them for being on a journey of their own.

  • Hilary

    Thank you for your bravery and for YOUR grace. You asked how someone in our lives has shown US grace – I have something I’d like to share. I had been deeply distracted by my work for several months, and my home life and relationship were suffering. Contracts for me usually last a short period of time, but this one was unusually long. To add complexity to the situation, I was also finding myself attracted to a co-worker — a fact I was having difficulty hiding from my partner. By the time the contract finally ended, and I realized how much of my emotional energy was spent contemplating my work and ‘the other workplace situation’, my partner had grown self-protective and distant. I resolved to try and make it up to him. That evening at dinner, I took his hand, looked him in the eyes, and told him that I knew I had been “far away” for a very long time, that I was genuinely sorry for the suffering it had caused him, and that I would try to repair the damage I had done. He simply smiled — as if the words I spoke had lifted a heavy, grey veil from around his face — and said, “welcome back.” To me, this was an act so filled with grace and love that I wept with relief and gratitude.

    • drkellyflanagan

      “Welcome back.” Hilary, thank you for this. Those two words may be the hallmark of grace.

  • Jasmine

    Thank you for your honesty and courage.

  • Cathy

    I had a job once, a long time ago, as a telephone operator in a small-exchange. As part of the monitoring of my job, mechanical equipment automatically tallied every error I made, and handling hundreds of calls each day, I made, everyone made, a few errors regularly. Periodically, (weekly I think) my supervisor would give me the error tally, and go over it with me. This was incontrovertible evidence that I was not as perfect as I’d like to have been and it was hard to argue with or find excuses for the mistakes I had made (most of which I wasn’t even aware of). I found after many months of this routine that it became easier (not easy, just easier) to accept my failings, and my tendency to make excuses, deny, or even be embarrassed by the misses faded and I learned to accept that I will miss the mark and that my best response is to admit it, appreciate the feedback, apologize, if needed, learn what I can from the “data”, and go back and do it again. Your post today reminded me of this learning experience and that I haven’t yet “perfected” my own response to my misses. So, I’ll do it again today!

    • drkellyflanagan

      Love this image of being repeatedly presented with our misses, but in a graceful presence, and slowly the fear of imperfection bleeds away.

  • Jenny

    Love this: Grace is the presence that knows you’re a work in progress and is simply delighting in your becoming. Somehow my whole soul relaxed when I read this sentence and the following paragraph. Thanks for the article. I’m a new follower and a new fan.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Oh, what a good phrase: “my whole soul relaxed.” I think that’s exactly what happens in the presence of grace. Thank you for articulating it so well. And welcome to the blog!

  • NR

    Your article is very thought -provoking. As creative professionals, we are asked constantly to make choices based on our intrinsic talents and desires. What interests us, what drives us. But tapping into that basic talent is an act of making yourself vulnerable, indulging in bouts of self-doubt and going to the core of your being to ask what matters. The paradox is that if you are to be successful, you cannot never actually show this vulnerability and popularizing your ideas is an act of negating everything that led to their generation in the first place.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Thanks for an equally thought-provoking comment! “Popularizing your ideas is an act of negating everything that led to their generation in the first place.” I think that gets at a huge tension of the creative process for me. And it’s not a tension I ever want to leave behind.

  • Deb Risch Ingrassia

    Do you do speaking engagements. I am on several school and community based committees North of Milwaukee. I’d love to see if we could get you to speak.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Deb, please feel free to email me so we can discuss it further!

  • Christina Davila

    I always enjoy reading your blog post. Being a young adult in this society is very difficult because every mistake I make brands me as a delinquent, another future statistic, and a bad investment. I got kicked out of my university for a low GPA about a year ago. I hid it from my parents because I was sure that they would disown me. They both have Masters’ degrees from prestigious institutions, so I just knew I would be the family disgrace. Instead, they allowed me breathing room to examine what went wrong. They allowed me to move back in and start over. I went back to school this past fall and now am on the Dean’s List. I really needed someone to remind me that failure and success aren’t separate paths like everyone assumes. The truly successful will tell you their failures paved the way to their accomplishments.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Christina, thank you for having the courage to share your story! And to share such a wonderful image of grace and how your parents you the space to look at what was and wasn’t working. Good for you!

  • Jesse Young

    Great article. My daughter is addicted to the Frozen soundtrack as well. Now, it’s stuck in my head all day, “would you like to build a snowman? Let it go! Let it go!, Elsa? (knock knock knock)” I guess there are worse things she could be singing constantly. I wanted to point out that when I read the part that people took issue with, it was clear to me you were talking about noticing your daughter now as being just as strong as everyone else. You didn’t say females in general. Not to take anything away from the absolutes of the above blog post, but I didn’t find anything wrong with your letter from the makeup aisle.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Thank for your support, Jesse. And you’re right, witnessing my daughter wasn’t the very first time some these things occurred to me. Yet you do start to be aware of them in a whole new way. And it was nice to be able to just write the post, though, and not have to worry about defending the journey, knowing there is enough grace to go around. : )

  • Miranda Meadows

    Hi Dr. Flanagan!
    I have never commented before, but couldn’t NOT comment on this post…
    especially when asked the question about a way someone has shown me
    grace. One of my greatest and most life-changing experiences of grace came from your one and only wife, who I have been so blessed to have as my grad school advisor. A little background: At the end of my 1st year and beginning of my 2nd year of grad school, I was suddenly bombarded with family trauma and brokenness. After a lifetime of thriving in the role of the “perfect,” emotionally stable (i.e. emotionless), “hero” child in my family, I was suddenly lost in a fog of depression and emotion (heaven forbid!). I struggled to function in that “perfect” role, and as a result, felt great shame, which led to much avoidance and hiding from school and my professors. I was asked to meet with a committee at the school in order to assess what was going on, and your wife came to support me.
    For the first time ever, I told people about my life and everything that was currently going on, and they gave me a first healing bit of grace. Afterwards, Kelly gave me the biggest hug while I wept and then she took me into her office. I felt so broken, exposed, hopeless, and worthless… and Kelly looked me right in my swollen eyes and said “Miranda, I honestly feel excited to see how God makes this beautiful in your life. You will have a depth and richness to your clinical work and to who you are that will truly be astounding.” In that moment, I could hardly believe her belief in me, but I decided to accept the grace and hope she gave… and I totally latched on to that like a lifeline. She saw me in a more broken and imperfect state than anyone had ever seen me, and instead of feeding my shame, she covered me with love, hope, and grace.
    Honestly, that moment was the beginning of my journey towards beautiful, messy, genuine imperfection, and I wouldn’t take back a second of it (even the mistakes… gasp!). Your amazing wife gave me the space to be broken and imperfect, and no
    one had ever done that before. A few years later, I can proudly say that I am loving my imperfect journey of becoming. I can now give myself space to actually be myself after years of hiding, and while it’s often vulnerable and sometimes messy, I can give myself the grace for that now, too. And so much of that is because of the grace your wife first gave me. (She also once told me something that I repeat to myself if I ever fear imperfection: “You literally failed and everyone still loves you.” And I’m pretty sure she said that with a similar look to when she asked you “Well?”)

    Thanks for another beautiful and vulnerable post!! You have the most precious family, and I can’t wait to watch the Today show to see one of the most joyful little girls I know shine for the world to see!

    • drkellyflanagan

      Miranda, I happen to agree with you, I think she’s pretty awesome, too. : ) And thanks for taking the time and finding the courage to share your first comment!

  • Ryan

    I love reading things by modern day scientists, philosophers, and psychologists that the Bible have been saying for a couple thousand years. Very touching article. Reading things like this can only make me look forward to becoming a father one day.

  • Dennis

    I am full blown atheist so the term “grace” is usually a loaded one for me. I am happy with the way that you framed this. I think for me grace is about what way, or individual action is beneficial for the world or others more so than being attached to any specific religious dogma. I think I support the real main idea here in this post about creating a better culture of allowing ourselves to fail and to be accepting of others failure. Therein is are the moments for our true human compassion for each other.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Grace is a loaded term. Maybe it’s time we “unloaded” it, unleashed it, and let it become as expansive as it really is. Thanks for sharing, Dennis.

  • MichaelSchart

    There many ways in which people have shown me grace through the years. For about eight years I was in depression and for even longer I have built large ego walls. I have lashed out and I have hurt myself and other because of it. But there are two people in particular who stood against the barrage. They know I am more than that and they are always there for me, to listen and give advice. It feels like it is grace. They continue to give me chances and not judge me for my mistakes, but help me grow from them.

    Just last night I made a mistake. I picked up my brother, and a couple of his friends, and we were in the process of driving them home. Being in a Jeep and all, I thought I would do a couple of donuts in the snow filled parking lot that no one goes to in the winter. The snow was far too deep and we ended up getting stuck. Fear struck me, held me in their grasp and my mind allowed them to get bigger and bigger. ‘I’m such a fool. People will laugh at me.’ Essentially, I’m NOT perfect. I made a mistake. I’m going to be made fun of for it. ‘Please, no one stop to help me! I’m such a fool, I’m such a fool… I’m such a fool!’ And I broke down crying, sat in the snow while the others continued to try and free the car.

    Eventually we managed to get the vehicle unstuck, laughing as we did so. After dropping the friends off at their home, and while on the way to our home, my brother says something to me; ‘If we were driving by and saw someone in that same situation we were just in, we would have stopped without thinking twice about it to help. We would not have judged them for getting stuck.’ Mistakes are made, but that does mean we have to suffer for it. It should not matter what someone else thinks, either.

    I was bullied when I was younger and I never learned how to let it go and I ended up accepting that as the truth. That I’m strange, that I should not put myself out there, that I should conform, be someone ‘normal’ and stay away from others. That I shouldn’t make mistakes. I am only now, as I find this wonderful site, starting to move past that. Little by little. Thank you for this site! Thank you for taking the risks, making the mistakes, and helping people with it.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Michael, I have a feeling that by leaving this comment, you just made a significant step toward letting it go. We’re blessed to witness your courage. Keep going, Michael. A day will come when you’ll get stuck in a snowbank and it will be nothing more than an opportunity to soak up the grace of the moment and you’ll feel free. Let us know when that day happens, too, okay?

      • MichaelSchart

        I will certainly do that. Thank you!

  • Natalie

    My therapist has been an unconditional source of grace, love, understanding and acceptance and it has helped me to learn that I am loveable and worthy for who I am as a person and I have the right to my opinions, thoughts and feelings an d to demand respect and kindness from others and to accept no less than that. My close friend of 18 years has also never abandoned our friendship no matter what I’ve told her. Its a far cry from the family I grew up in where grace was non-existent

    • drkellyflanagan

      Natalie, one good therapist and one good friend is a really good start. Thanks for the reminder that grace can come in small numbers and make a big difference.

  • Jason Garo

    I would say that I am taught grace on a daily basis by my co-workers and most of all, my immediate family. There is nothing more humbling than being in a “debate” at the dinner table and my wife telling me I’m wrong (which I am, but will try to prove otherwise) and my children nodding their heads in unison in my wife’s favor. I grew up in a home where my father was always right and there was no telling him otherwise. I have learned, through faith-based literature and philosophy, that children provide lessons that only a child can teach, they cannot be taught any other way.

    • drkellyflanagan

      I’m with you, bro!

  • drkellyflanagan

    I received a note on Facebook from someone who has spent much time caring for and loving my kids, and it was both insightful and graceful, so I asked for her permission to copy her comments here. Here they are:

    “Couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps the reason you saw “a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man” in caitlin in a way that you couldn’t see in the women in your life prior is due to that with this little one you are seeing the feminine soul before it has been squelched and damaged by our culture…………the women you know, you are seeing the aftermath, the hurt or even strength from overcoming and hear their stories so you know that force is there……but with caitlin, you see it first hand, you see the pureness and it stirs something new in your heart to preserve it because you know it’s a beauty worth fighting for………..and i think the make-up letter is a great fight; for a child to believe its message would be a great upper hand, and for an adult it begins to shatter the lies we’ve been in bondage to.”

  • throw_away_acct

    When I was in my early teens, I made a decision that lead to the death of my close friend. The remorse and shame is never-ending, and I will be making amends everyday for the rest of my life. Only a handful of people know my story, including my therapist, who has shown me unbelievable kindness while I begin the journey of forgiving myself. When I told my therapist that someone’s child, so full of love, laughter, and potential, is no longer living because of something I did, she said, “you were a kid, you couldn’t have anticipated or known the outcome. I think carrying around this belief [that I’m unworthy of happiness or love] for (insert x number of years) is long enough.” Maybe someday I’ll have the strength and courage to look in the mirror and not feel disgust and hatred. Talking about it and having a kind and compassionate response, even if it was from a trained professional, was an invaluable first step. I wish there was an ethical way to tell my therapist how much her response meant.

    Forgiving the unforgivable. Grace in action.

    • drkellyflanagan

      I do hope your therapists words will become the reality your heart knows. It’s far tougher to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. I hope you can do so.

  • Pastor Alan

    Doc, it is good for you to self-examine the whys of the words you chose. As a pastor, I get to express my views in the live setting of a congregation where even the most well scripted sermon can have a variation that may me scratching my head… did I really say that. However, I think the difference of why it may still be “ok” that you chose the words “you start to realize” is “vulnerability”. When we look at a child, we see vulnerability much more immediately than we do when we look at adults. Although certainly in your practice you have gotten to see the vulnerability of your adult patients, both male and female. But still, it is your daughter… a child still very vulnerable to a world that could hurt her. You were a part of her creation and charged with the responsibility of nurturing and shaping her. She will be forever daddy’s little girl no matter how old she and you become. And even as she enters into her senior years of life and you are gone, she will remember herself as daddy’s little girl. It is through those eyes in which “you start to realize” that she is already growing up on you… becoming her own person.. a force to be reckoned with. That is not a slam to the women you have already known, but perhaps a reminder that there fathers perhaps needed to come to that same realization.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Thanks, Alan. Your words echo those of our daughter’s former babysitter, which I copied below. I appreciate the sensitivity and insightfulness of your reflection.

  • Carolyn

    I just shared your letter to your daughter on my Facebook page and wanted to share something that I wrote when I was doing my Masters degree…It was a “position statement” for my made-up Foundation,”Every Body Is Beautiful”-EBIB…I wrote this because I was once stuck in the rat race of ” the thin ideal” as a hairdresser in the “beauty industry”. My daughter had to grow up witnessing me always being on a diet and never satisfied with the way that I looked.I sent her the wrong message and I fear that it affected her adversely. I can’t undo the damage that I caused her, but I can warn other parents to send the message of self acceptance and the importance of health and good nutrition to their children, as opposed to the fear of not fitting in because they aren’t a certain size.
    EBIB Position Statement by Carolyn Cowan
    When entering a Beauty Salon, the subject matter always turns to the “Thin Ideal” and the most current diet. With very few exceptions, fashion models for beauty and hair products are
    shown at an unhealthy and unattainable weight.
    EBIB abhors the acceptance in the social media and the beauty industry of the use of super- thin models that are used to sell hair products and condemns the “shop-talk” surrounding
    the latest (and generally extremely unhealthy) current diets.
    EBIB believes that every person and everybody is beautiful and seeks to spread the message of self-love and acceptance. Furthermore, EBIB believes that as responsible cosmetologists,
    we should spread the message surrounding the danger of “thin-think” and instead
    promote a healthy body, a healthy lifestyle.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Right on, Carolyn!

  • Dale

    “When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man.” – I don’t see the “wrong” terms in that phrase. It also implicitily refer to your wife strenght (as strong as everyone else in the house). However, the question about other womens is also intersting. To me, what you did say have an intesting poetic form (as many other texts you wrote). When you say she’s just as strong as everyone else, you’re not talking about muscle strength… nothing obvius, nothing easy to say maybe life force that “communicates” potentials, manifests caracter strenght and desire to live and grow. All that in a powerfull and meaningfull way. I would like to add that childs shows us how beautiful (powerfull and meaningfull) an integrated (living is whole being) human is. That might explain the grace and the strength of their actions. Many person live with antagonist inner movement that together in a same direction might create as much as it destruct one another. On the planet scale, we might see war as an exemple of energy that instead of collapsing could create much more abondance and beauty. For many, finding the way to live an integrated life is therefor a key to solve bigger problems (including the destructive part of wars). Many lives such a hell because they fear of doing mistakes for wich they would be responsible ( so they submit) – as almost every one made mistakes and have been severely corrected and threathened, sometimes punished and assaulted. Control and war “mistaking” parts of us (and others) is a common duty. Mistakes are regarded as very treathening occurences as if we were so much vulnerable to them. We treat mistakes as we treat our powerlessness (as it is clearly a part – its edge) – the limits that our power demonstrate when we actualise it.

  • Laura

    The biggest moment of grace I ever received was when a friend at Bible Study told me it was okay to not be strong. My husband was in jail and I had been holding myself together with sheer force of will for over 5 months and someone finally told me that it was okay that I wasn’t okay. The relief I felt was so profound that I just let go, cried, and actually ended up sick for a couple days. But it was okay.
    My sister and my mom had been telling me that they were proud of me, that I didn’t just crumble, and I started to feel that if I stopped, I would be letting them down. It took someone from outside my immediate family telling me that it was okay to lean on someone for me to break down. I got worse before I got better. But my friends at Bible Study listened and let me just talk and cry when I needed to. They listened without judging. They told me when I was being unfair to myself or to other people. But what always stick in my mind is the first night I went to Bible Study and was told that it was okay not to be strong. It was what I needed at that moment.
    Our Bible study has evolved into a night where we gather, watch movies, debate Dr. Who, and whose co-workers are the strangest. Some of the members have gone into the Navy, and some have stopped coming. But it is still a place I can go to not be strong and it is the best grace I have ever received.

  • arwerne

    Thanks Sir, Just became a fan.
    I am not a writer, I’m a painter soo…. I was blessed last year with my first daughter and only daughter, after 3 wonderful young men. I am finding my way as a father of a little girl. I know how to respect my wife, how to treat her like an individual, and the leader that she is. What I am learning from my little one is how to do my part in raising her to be an amazing, strong, amazing lady, just like her mother. Everyday I try to be the dad her mother never had. Grace gives us that daily opportunity to grow everyday. I know my daughter will grow strong, because she has the strength of her father at her back. Strong roots. Keep rockin’ man.

  • Adam Wernecke

    Thanks Sir, Just became a fan.
    I am not a writer, I’m a painter soo…. I was blessed last year with my first daughter and only daughter, after 3 wonderful young men. I am finding my way as a father of a little girl. I know how to respect my wife, how to treat her like an individual, and the leader that she is. What I am learning from my little one is how to do my part in raising her to be an amazing, strong, amazing lady, just like her mother. Everyday I try to be the dad her mother never had. Grace gives us that daily opportunity to grow everyday. I know my daughter will grow strong, because she has the strength of her father at her back. Strong roots. Keep rockin’ man.

    • drkellyflanagan

      Adam, it’s always good to meet another dad out there who is trying as hard as you are to do right by your family. Keep rockin’ yourself!

  • Eliana

    I am in d struggling age of 20’s already…yet not able to make a frnd whum i cn utter shits…..i always had dff. frnds at diff times bt yet missed dt one same frnd whu cud b dr to listen to all stories at all times f life….
    i always lied to seek attention f d ones i want to..n dt includes mother father sister(smtimes brother),my relatives whu giv importance to only few ppl in dr lives n clasmates whu i considered to b fun or gud listeners…basically al i wanted ws to b loved or appreciated n share d depth of my soul 100%…..bt i cudnt xperince ny gud luck til date…..n instead i m stuck wid frustation f lies i piled up n d messy image i created in frnt f ppl….it has like spoiled evn d left ovr smile i cud hav..smbdy dr to listen up n tok to me in lil mor private chat ???
    m like depressed since my frst grade